§06 · Song Redemption · 741 Hz · Storge · Hear and be heard
What needs to be said?
In-Room Exercise — What Needs to Be Said?
One by one, we each get to be the head howler monkey.
When the head howler monkey speaks, everyone listens — then everyone echoes at once. The head howler monkey doesn't speak with words; the head howler monkey speaks with soul. And loudly. A little too loudly.
(speaker goes first)
Now, howler monkeys — remember your words. Each of you: reflect on what feels most important to share right now. Most important to utter, or echo, or bellow, or whisper. Something short and to the point. A word, a phrase, a sentence. A question?
Let it ring out. The rest of us will listen with roaring silence.
What needs to be said?
Practice in the Wild — Saying the Unsaid
Go somewhere you can speak freely without feeling afraid of being overheard.
Call to mind a relationship in your life that feels troubling. What have you left unsaid?
Start recording a voice memo. Just start talking. Don't try to say the right thing, or put it the right way — just babble aimlessly, but truly. If you don't believe what you hear yourself say, pause, accept that you lie to yourself sometimes, and begin again. You may find that you home in on what you would like to say and how you would like to say it. If you don't, no harm done. If you do, celebrate this. Say what you have left unsaid as clearly as you can.
When you run out of things to say, stop and take a break. Take a walk. Don't listen to your recording yet — give it some space. Have a bite to eat, or even a whole meal of food.
When you are overwhelmed with curiosity, find a quiet space, don your headphones, close your eyes, and give yourself a deep listen. You may hear a voice of judgment — judging your voice, your words, your ideas, your expression, your filler words, your stammering, or — what do you call it? — your diction. Don't fight that judgmental voice; laugh it off. Laugh with yourself if you can. You did your best. You said some really brave things, things that were really hard to say.
Keep it, delete it, whatever. The work is done.
When something goes left unsaid, it can be tempting to call a friend you feel safe with and tell them instead of who really needs to hear it. You can be that friend for yourself, and you can say what needs to be said sooner and sooner until… I don't know what happens. I'll let you know when I get there.